Home.. Sweet Home..

who would have ever thought, that I will make it back to my beloved home country on this trip??

..even if the circumstances aren't all that pleasant, I'm looking forward to come home for 10 days, see my Mom and family, visit friends and go to parties!!! :D

long story short.. our trip was DOOMED from the beginning :'( it didn't matter if I would have come here or not. Liz's parents are just so stubborn and afraid that something could happen, that they only allow her to visit me in Chile and Argentina (booooring!!). That is really disappointing, especially, because I thought we are making a compromise here and not getting a solution dictated :( anyway.. may be good to do it this way. I just got so sad about all this, about the situation, that we can't talk to each other about this (Liz had always to be the middleman), that I couldn't really smile and be happy --> I'm a straight forward person and as transparent as one can be. this doesn't mean, that I got unfriendly.. just not that euphoric and enthuiastic, as I was arriving here. this automatically got interpreted as "hostile" (the word her parents used, talking to Liz) and they figured, it would be happier, if I wouldn't be here.. what is in the way of a self-fulfilling-prophecy true, because if I get "exiled" this way, I don't really want to be here. So I'm REALLY happy to get out of here. Especially because we can't talk together about this.. I'm glad to not see their parents anymore (they went to bed earlier yesterday and got up earlier this morning, so I could avoid all personal contact with them). It's really sad, because I don't like to have relations like this with people, but it seems that they are totally unable to talk about this with me (we had a conversation a few days ago and Nancy got upset by the pure fact, that I'm expressing my feelings and concerns). So all this seems to me like tail-between-legs and run away instead of having an open and clear conversation about this.
I mean, I even accept the fact, that they say, better safe and single than allowing Liz to come with me, but I like at least to be able to talk about.. that's why I came here in first place, remember? ahh.. it's between poor and pathetic, but however.. it doesn't mean the end of my life and I enjoy getting the "good old energy" back again, that I lost over the last days.. I felt so terribly miserable in my mind, my heart and my body. I just could experience the destructive force of bad thoughts, of not being aware and present.. good I'm getting out of it.

so yes.. flying in a few hours to Switzerland and Liz will join me in a few days (after she had some quality time with her parents). then we are together for a week in Switzerland, go back to Kiev to catch our flights to NY.. so finally the trip was time and money consuming and very, very intense.
..instead of going to Baia, Mexico, I went to Texas, flew to New York, flew to Amsterdam, connecting flight Kiev Airport, driver to Kiev city, driver Kiev airport, Budhapest, connection flight Zurich, being 10 days home, Zurich to Budhapest, connection flight Kiev, driver Kiev city, sleep one night, driver Kiev airport, flight Paris de-gaule airport, connection flight New York, flight (or Bus) to Texas, where I gonna pick up my bike again... HELL I'm glad to be on my ride again after all this!!!!!!!! it's probably as crazy as it seems ;)
..and my back hurts :(((( ..to add a complaint more ;) HAHA :D ..ah.. whatever.. cu soon! :D